@Douchekevin: Some of the nicest women you'll meet on Twitter are men.
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@yoopnative: My 11 now wants to borrow clothes from my closet. Either she has great taste in clothing at an early age...or I dress like a tween.
@SamGrittner: I'm surprised carving faces into vegetables after pulling out their innards isn't incorporated into more American Holidays.
@animaldrumss: No, actually I hate gambling, that's why the dice on my shirt are on fire. If I see someone start to gamble I'll burn up his gambling dice.