@Parentpains: Some of you change your avi like I change my underwear. Every three days.
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@Lisa_Laughs_: Detective: Where were you on the night- Me: Twitter Detective: Between the hour- Me: Twitter Detective: I wasn't fini- Me: Twitter
@briangaar: Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass
@Sadieisonfire: I put Infinite Warfare on Craigslist and of course I'm getting the geniuses texting me