@Parentpains: Some of you change your avi like I change my underwear. Every three days.
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@RandomBest: "I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
@VodkaThursday: I got an email from Olga. She thinks I'm sweet & "longs for finding a special person for serious relations". So there's always that.
@MableGertrude: I'm not saying you're on twitter too much, but your six-year-old is running an arms trade with the Mexican drug cartel out of his tree fort.
@YoungNobler: Before you cannibalize your roommate due to cabin fever, remember that you cannot afford the rent alone. #blizzard2016