@philmann: Great. Only a single slice of bread left in the bag. That means until I find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich

@LADaddy: There's an alternate universe where we are together and finally happy. And I probably forgot to take out the trash there, too.

@LindseyEllison2: If you want to look mysterious I would suggest painting your cornea with a sharpie. Always works for me.

@truegritrumble: ME: *looks up from tarot card* So is Death laughing at a smoldering corpse a good thing? PSYCHIC: *wide-eyed* At this point, I don't know.

@pinupteacher: *date leans in* Tell me something I don't know about you. *I lean in* I have a french fry in my pocket.