@AphroditeAfter5: Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
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@seanforhire: i noticed you didn't put interpretive dance on your gift registry but i went ahead and got it for you anyways
@iwearaonesie: me: Should I pack condoms? wife*laughs* me*driving* wife*still laughing* me*checks into the hotel* wife*calls friend so they can both laugh*
@bornmiserable: Guys who say there's a party in their pants are probably referring to search parties.
@NickBossRoss: You legally aren't married until someone says, "haha but seriously" in their wedding speech.