@amyistrouble: Some of you should be ashamed of yourselves. You know who you are. I probably should be too, but this isn't about me.
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@angibangie: The last time my heart beat this fast I was at my boyfriend's parent's house and the toilet water was rising... -My best pickup line
@cupcakelynda: Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god.
@k_lli: Social butterfly? Nah. I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them.
@trumpetcake: Eating chocolate pudding from a diaper is a good way to get a whole row to yourself at the cinema.