@That_Damn_Duck: Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I’m talking about you in particular.
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@garrettbarry70: A pop up blocker for coworkers who send you an email and immediately show up at your desk to ask if you got their email.
@vmochama: why are we mad at Beyonce for cultural appropriation when we could be mad that she made us listen to a Coldplay song?
@SirEviscerate: OSTRICH: *buries head in sand* ANTELOPE: You're crazy! OSTRICH: Shut your mouth and help me bury the rest of him. I'm NOT going back to jail
@tweeterreader36: To the co-worker who had a 17 min conversation with me and didn't tell me I had a smudge on my forehead. It's on!!