@crunchenhancer: Some people age like wine, others age like milk.
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@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: I'm such a nerd! I love when a guy talks sciency HIM: Oh haha [to waiter] A salad with umm *sweating* kilo-island dressing
@mean_spice: [at a child's birthday party] Lady: which one's yours? Me: uhh, that one L: that's my daughter M: *grabs the cake and runs*
@MyHairyLife: Male seahorses get pregnant. In related news, scientists believe men who tell women what to with their bodies come back as seahorses.
@VeryLonelyLuke: I ordered a pizza. I don't think the guy understood how to get here. Is it free if it's 5 years late?