@PeaceInTruth1: Some people are glistening beacons of nope.
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@TheMichaelRock: We're expecting 12 inches tomorrow night. Well played, Black History Month. Well played.
@alispagnola: Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on.
@turtledumplin: Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he's going to the clinic for a 'work related' injury.
@FrogAvalanche: -Where was I conceived, dad? Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly? Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset?