@TheAlexP: Some people are like 5yr olds, they shake heads in agreement, but you KNOW by the look in their eyes, they have no clue what you just said.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later.
@BriarSlyMalice: HIM: My new girlfriend's name is "Bella". That means "Beautiful" in Italian. ME: It also means "War" in Latin...so good luck with that.
@NamestartswithZ: Two gunslingers face each other in the street, waiting to draw. Minutes pass. I'm still obliviously standing between them sipping a Slurpee.
@TheLesbianTwin: a squirrel buries a nut in my backyard. I think im going to dig it up & replace it with a grilled cheese sandwich, blow its freaking mind!