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@Shakti_Shetty: Some people enter your life just to improve your pronunciation.
@ObscureGent: *First hour into camping with my family with no phone*
I have 2 kids?!
@withanewname: Well tonight's date night for me and the wife
I certainly hope we don't run into each other
@GerryDuggan: Everything is terrible but my son just texted me these beagulls.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: It's date night!
Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform?
W: Yes. *winks*
M: Maybe you can get a student discount.
@roxiqt: [before tattoos were invented]
ME: I can't believe I have to draw a skull on my arm every day