@SergioValenCo: Some people follow their dreams, I follow lunatics on the internet.
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@DanMentos: lol my boss just called me into his office and told me I've been spending too much time on twitter. Hold on he's saying something else now
@PinkCamoTO: I'm so glad I had a kid so instead of relaxing in the bath, I can have someone explain Minecraft to me in painful detail.
@LizHackett: [gently takes the Spider-Man franchise outside using a cup and piece of paper] There you go, little buddy. You're free now.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half