@OctopusCaveman: Some people have this weird super power where they smell like their shampoo for hours after showering.
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@uberpaki: My fellow Canadians, Complain about the heat just *once* and it will get taken away from us. Don't be the reason we can't have nice things
@bourgeoisalien: Just accidentally messaged my husband "love you sexy beats" instead of "sexy beast" and now he thinks he’s some sort of DJ.
@GianDoh: All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast.
@_SingleBabyMama: So, I'm officially off the market. Got a DM from a faceless Avi proposing marriage in broken English. We're planning a June wedding!