@juicymorsel: Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
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@Courtniss_: There's a special hole in my backyard for people to hit me in the back of the ankles with a shopping cart.
@atanya1111: At age 40 you gain the capacity to fall totally chemically head over heels in love with a refrigerator.
@JCWisdomNuggets: Hey Dads who think that being home with the kids alone is called "babysitting". You're wrong. It's called "parenting". Not the same.
@LuluLanternFish: Before I really understood sarcasm people would say things like "oh, well look who it is" and I'd be like "it's me Karen, I'm your daughter"