@juicymorsel: Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
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@Manda_like_wine: Eternal damnation for the sorry acquaintance who cons you into watching his favorite film and keeps looking to see if you're reacting.
@SatansTongue: *at church* "Does anyone have anything else for the offering basket?" Ｉ ＯＦＦＥＲ ＭＹ ＦＩＲＳＴ ＢＯＲＮ ＣＨＩＬＤ "Jim no"
@T_Bonezzz_: When I go shopping I like to buy condoms and cat food at the same time just to confuse the cashier.
@Birdhumms: The red haired guy in the bakery doesn't like being called... 'The Ginger Bread Man' *lesson learned