@BackrowSeats: Some people might find a grown man talking to himself strange, & it's probably the couple sitting next to me.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Why do football players only dance when good shit happens? Just once I wanna see a QB throw an interception & do a sad, interpretive dance.
@lovemyboots111: Apparently asking the boss " who ignited the fuse on your tampon?" will get you sent to HR.
@KimDotcom: "The problem with quotes on the Internet is that they're not always accurate." - Albert Einstein
@Sir_Strange: "Oh my god, you've gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?" - my mother