@BackrowSeats: Some people might find a grown man talking to himself strange, & it's probably the couple sitting next to me.
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@secondofhername: Jurassic World: A generically modified smart 50 ft monster has turned violent and this, for some reason, took people by surprise.
@MartaEffing: Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty.
@CauseWereGuys: I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologize to the man at the next urinal.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Just gave this idiot a thumbs up for cutting me off, and I think I might not understand road rage.