@10InchesPlus: Some people need Rosetta Stone for Sarcasm
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@PhilJamesson: Green Shell Koopa Dad: If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? Red Shell Koopa Son: No Dad: This is the problem with your generation
@DirtyySouthMess: [To police.] "I want to press charges on my co-worker Steve." "What'd he do?" "Warmed up fish in the office microwave." "...Cuff him."