@toastymoe: Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste.
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@thentherewasmo: Renee Zellweger is living proof that if you keep making that face it's going to be stuck that way forever
@Sickayduh: "We need a name for this big flat state full of corn and you're gonna be the one to do it" "I...uhhh... Wha?" "Nailed it. Next state."
@TedBundybitch: When I tell people I don't speak English to get out of a conversation I randomly throw the word hemorrhoid just to bring it home