@MadlyAmanda: Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
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@50ShadesGran: Suddenly she was on her back, clothes strewn everywhere and her wrists bound to her ankles. She always had trouble hanging out the washing.
@theshantilly: "I'm supes scared & all alone & in my underwear. What's that noise in the basement? I should totes go check it out." - Virgins tonight
@AlanFelyk: Her: I’m done with you and everybody who looks like you. Me: What did Wilford Brimley ever do to you?