@ruinedpicnic: some people want to be buried when they die. others want to be cremated. personally, I think I would like to be brought back to life
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@squirrel74wkgn: [on first date] I'll have an iced tea, please. Waiter: Sure. Ummm...anything for the balloon with a woman's face drawn on it?
@WhoCuppedMyCake: If your ex is dropping subtle hints drop bigger hints. Like a toaster in a bathtub.
@TheWoodenslurpy: I bet dogs at parties get tired of being singled out by socially awkward humans.
@daemonic3: 911: What's your emergency? "I put the Ford in affordable housing." 911: Are you flirting? "No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"