@ruinedpicnic: some people want to be buried when they die. others want to be cremated. personally, I think I would like to be brought back to life
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@therealeatwood: ME: Um, I specifically requested Mary. BLOODY CARLA: Listen, do you want your eyes clawed out or not?
@Mellicubed: My fire alarm just went off because I took my shower. Ya, I know I'm hot when I'm naked, but come on now, let's all just calm down.
@gurl_sour: My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer.
@pakalupapito: why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here