@WheelTod: Some people will put ketchup on anything: one time I found a first edition of Wuthering Heights in my dad's attic & I just couldn't resist.
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@MUMSIEesq: [Parent-Teacher Conference] Teacher: ..if another kid is mean to her, she calmly walks away Me: *flips table* WHICH KID IS MEAN TO HER?!?!
@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Women like an adventure ME: Okay [later on phone] ME: Are you having fun? DATE: *clearly upset* YOU LEFT ME IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
@Contwixt: No one claims to like clowns, and yet there are clowns. What an evolutionary adaptive species they must be, clowns.