@WheelTod: Some people will put ketchup on anything: one time I found a first edition of Wuthering Heights in my dad's attic & I just couldn't resist.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn't even come close to my 5 year old's reaction when I told him that there's no school today.
@ValeeGrrl: 5yo: [loudly whispers] MOMMY, SEE? WE'RE LETTING YOU AND DADDY SLEEP! AREN'T WE DOING GOOD? Me: [in bed] Yeah. You're doing GREAT.
@DaHess1: Hey you with the Uggs, Michael Kors bag, iPhone, scarf and super excited voice.. *70 million white women turn around*
@UncleDuke1969: Me: C'mon. Dog: No. Me: Let's go. Dog: No. Me: Please? Dog: YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!? Me: It's just rain. Dog: I already pooped in your shoe.