@TheTalkingPipe: Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
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@OneFunnyMummy: The fastest way to get your kids to shut up is to ask them a question you want answered.
@Momtoteens: When I go see my drug dealer, she makes me lay on a couch and talk to her for an hour first.
@UncleDuke1969: "Mom?" "Yes?" "Are we having seafood for dinner?" "No, why?" "I heard Dad on the phone." "And?" "He said that he picked up a case of crabs."