@Bownuggets: Some say I've "gone off the rails," or "left the reservation," or "screwed the pooch," or "mixed my metaphors," or "launched the hot dog"
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@DearAuntAbby: Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us
@pixelatedboat: Doctors recommend that you drink 8 glasses of water a day and don't fall out of a helicopter
@IndigoCheese: Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.