@JustinSouvanna: Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I'm not doing this shit."
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@Abfablee: Our gold fish jumped out of his tank and the dog ate it.....I feel like there is a life lesson here but don't know what it is.
@DurtMcHurtt: [first day as a pharmacist] CUSTOMER: the antacid I took isn't working. ME: *leans in close* that's cuz you're not an ant..
@mattgallo123: People ask me, "Matt, how do you do it?" , "Matt, what's your secret?" , "Matt, why do you make up imaginary interview questions?"
@sirmunchie: My GF arrives in town next week. I'm so excited! I just hope that all the tension w/ Russia doesn't make U.S. immigration hold up the mail.