@JustinSouvanna: Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I'm not doing this shit."
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@onelongbender: My internet boyfriend doesn't know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them.
@WouldbeAllen: Midwife: It's a boy, ma'am. Mrs Dickens: Edward. Edward's a nice name, isn't it, dear? Dickens: LET'S CALL HIM OPPROBRIOUS FRILLYBOCKER
@tonyhawk: girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer.