@darinlovesbacon: Some woman at my office just said Star Trek when we were all talking about Star Wars and now our IT guy is refusing to fix her computer.
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@Mwass_: So I had self diagnosed back problems and went to check out orthopedic mattresses. I would like to testify that the price tag healed me.
@One_FineMess: Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn't matter. It's all good. But a Pepsi drinker...
@NurseMurderer: taking cats to the vet is hard because you can't lie and be like, "we are going to the park!" since they don't want to go there either.