@AGreaterMonster: Somebody broke into my house and stole the alarm system.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LOsepyan: I feel like life would be so much more enjoyable if punching bags and pinatas were strategically placed throughout the day
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: My mom is watching our kids for the night. Me: Oh, baby. Do you know what we can do? *falls asleep at 7 p.m.*
@TheRolo: If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out.
@SalaciousSully: Dear Americans: It's called snow. It's cold and wet, but can't hurt you from inside the house. It has no opposable thumbs. #AskCanada