@drhappyknuckles: Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad.
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@Parkerlawyer: My client's (soon to be ex) wife just flipped me off in the courthouse parking lot, so yeah, I'm obviously doing my job right.
@QwertyJones3: But my sandwich is so dry! "Sorry sir, that's not what we do here at the Mayo Clinic."
@iinkedZombie: Me: I don't feel like driving home. 5: I'll drive. Me: You're not old enough yet. 5: and my feet won't reach the pedals. Me: And that.
@Lisa_Laughs_: Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse.