@drhappyknuckles: Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BillFienberg: I'm 25, which means I'm just as far from 10 as I am from 40. Although, in terms of money and maturity, I'm still way closer to 10.
@djdarrellripley: I have a strict policy against dating coworkers... Well, not so much a policy as a loosely enforced suggestion, at the request of my lawyer.
@Rich_McCarthy: *Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?
@dril: fired for "unleashing rats at work" which is bull shit first off because they don't make leashes for rats