@drhappyknuckles: Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "Where do babies comes from?" Well, son, when a man and a woman love each other very much they make poor decisions.
@BlaineKy: My Fitbit said I took 25 steps today... maybe if I move my recliner closer to the bathroom, I be able to cut my steps in half !
@praisecheese: This fall on Fox: X-Files Babies. Baby Skully and Baby Mulder meet at a petting zoo when they both get knocked over by the same goat.