@kwirkyKerri: Somebody parked in my spot and now I'm in the market for a rocket launcher.
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@ArfMeasures: [1st day at work] BOSS: Erm..we..have No Smoking rules here ME: That's great Alan [blows out smoke] most places have loads of smoking rules
@squirrel74wkgn: Me (answers phone): HELL-o Mom: Hi, honey. Your Dad is trying to change the time on the VCR you bought us in 83 Me: Please leave a message
@OfficeofSteve: They'll continuously make Fast & Furious movies until it's a bunch of old men trying to get out of a grocery store parking lot