@michaelianblack: Somebody PLEASE come to my house and plug the power cord into my laptop.
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@k8ieokay: Hey, did you guys know you can do just about anything if you use asterisks? *rides T-Rex off into the sunset*
@Sickayduh: [hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*
@whalesmells: You're the apple of my eye. The grape of my elbow. The lemon of my foot. The banana of my hair. My sweet hair banana.
@RefractReality: I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.