@michaelianblack: Somebody PLEASE come to my house and plug the power cord into my laptop.
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@Prof_BrianCocks: K1: Frankincence K2: Myrrh K3: Gold K1 & K2: WHAT? K3: Gold K1: We said £20 each! K3: I.. K1: I hate you K3: Wrap it from all of us?
@colesprouse: It's not a good date unless it ends with you slowly walking off into the ocean like Godzilla.
@rockymomax: [having sex] Her: HARDER! ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers? Her: 44&66 HARDER!
@mattZillaaaa: *changes voicemail recording to "your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again