@ramenfuneral: somebody sell me a flock of sheep so i can give them cool superhero names like bahman, the green lambtern and wonder woolman
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@kentgrossarth: The Pope quit. Meteor in Russia. Snowing in Arizona. Star Wars and Star Trek have the same director. Who the hell is playing Jumanji?
@mishakey: It's fun to watch a waitress flirt with my husband for an entire meal, then see that look of betrayal as I take the check from her hand.
@Robert_Beau: HR: You know why you're here? Me: So we can be alone? HR: Your new nickname is a problem. Me: We all have them. HR: Yes, but Sperminator?
@ella__fraser: Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success