@pmclellan: Somebody wrote "wash me" on my car. I'm so lazy, I just wrote "no" under it.
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@MTV2GuyCodes: Oh, some guy screwed you over? Would you like to explain how the whole male population is responsible for this?
@sixfootcandy: Kid: How did you meet daddy? Me: Well, it all started with a friendly game of spin the bottle at the family reunion...
@UncleBob56: Came downstairs to watch the game and the channel had changed. Looked at the dog, he looked back, then slowly slid his paw off the remote.