@pmclellan: Somebody wrote "wash me" on my car. I'm so lazy, I just wrote "no" under it.
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@imchriskelly: I have complicated opinions on the death penalty. I think it’s wrong but I also think that owners of cash-only establishments should get it.
@XLCadillac: [job interview] “Why should I hire you?” “Because I have pictures of you with a goat?”