@TheWeirdWorld: Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.
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@sweet_pea707: Me: I'm feeling frisky yet stabby. Do you want to come over? Him:... Me: Good answer
@NotKarma: Found $10 in a pants pocket. It was awkward though because someone was still wearing it.
@DanMentos: "my dad could beat up your dad" we're brothers you idiot *cut to dad stepping on rake, knocking himself out*