@TheWeirdWorld: Someday future archaeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think it was some bizarre mouse-worshiping kingdom.
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@Brampersandon_: [sees a meathead at the gym flipping a giant tire end over end] ME: Put it on its side and it'll roll, idiot
@ddsmidt: In the event of a tornado, put some weiners in your pocket. That way the search dogs will find you first.