@BryMastas: Someday, I wish Twitter will come up with a new & useful feature for once, like a sarcasm indicator for the ones who never get it.
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@NoogsCorner: Do I look like Christopher Columbus? Am I guiding a ship to a new land? So, when I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."
@lovejulieacafe: So UBER is not a dating app? *sigh* I kinda thought all those 'Goodbye' kisses seemed more awkward than usual.
@slimmy_shady: Drink this wine, it's the blood of Christ.Eat this bread, it's the body of Christ.Jesus pulls out hotdog, "Now hear me out"
@better_off_dad: HR: Know why we called you down? Me: Hmm...my trench coat? HR: Try again. Me: Because I'm naked under my trench coat?