@ValGyorgy: Somehow I missed my turn into my driveway and ended up at the pub few blocks over
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@pizzajaynow: Can someone help me figure out how much water I need to add to this baby powder in order to make a baby?
@bridger_w: It's Saturday night and I just saw a guy with a ponytail and tinted lenses. Somewhere, a tarantula is home alone
@owlcity: If someone calls me a sir one more time I will literally wear a top hat and a monocle and roll my eyes so hard you will not survive.