@abbycohenwl: Don't do anything rash - inept doctor trying to keep a skin eruption from spreading

@BlindChow: [takes e-cig from guy beside me & takes a hit] dude, your e-cig is broken GUY BESIDE ME: give me back my clarinet

@inigoomontoya: I hate when I miss the garbage truck and just have to throw trash in the neighbors hot tub again

@juliussharpe: The ending of "Romeo and Juliet" is only sad if you think two fourteen year-olds should have gotten married.

@TheAlexNevil: It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood.