@my_minivan_life: Someone asked me today what was the toughest thing about being a parent. I would have to say it’s the kids.
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@imence2: "I'm sure if I show my gf my Twitter, she'll understand it's just for fun." Said a bunch of now single guys.
@NotThatKristi: My jeans say "no more Christmas goodies" but my leggings are like "we got you, gurrrl"
@FuckabillyRex: Just apologized to my dog for being a crazy person, and I could tell by the way she didn't respond that she's been thinking it for a while.