@Schmoodles: Someone at work asked if I'd listened to any good books lately, and now I've got a body to dispose of. :(
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@crunchenhanced: My ex wife asked me to check on her house while she was on vacation.... Google Earth says everything is just fine.
@batkaren: *lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU
@corysnearowski: In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed