@bingowings14: Someone claimed that their dog could retrieve a ball from up to a mile away, sounds a bit far fetched to me.
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@theroneman: Son, there's only one thing in life to fear. [Car full of bears with machine guns drives by] Son, there are only two things in life to fear.
@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful
@TheToddWilliams: Earth: Goodnight Moon Moon: … Earth: I said ‘Goodnight Moon’ Moon: … Earth: Look, I don’t choose which days they celebrate Moon: Whatever