@brandonIee: Someone explain why clothes are so expensive? I should not have to pay this much to not be naked. People should pay ME to not be naked
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@JohnLyonTweets: A friend is in jail and I can't help feeling partially responsible because I framed him for murder.
@Carmel_Coleman: Your car won't start? Have you tried getting out of it and then getting back into it again? That usually works for my computer.
@Thrill_Tweeter: Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family.
@ItsAndyRyan: Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*