@WilliamAder: Someone hugged me at the office Christmas party and now they know my safe word.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@alextranquada: EXORCIST: the previous tenant was murdered. You can see their ghost in the background of this photo SPOOKY GHOST VOICE: oooomg deleeeete it
@mattytalks: Actually Jennifer, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
@NyAdas: Today I learned the hard way if you over-pluck your eyebrows everyone thinks you're interested in what they are saying