@WilliamAder: Someone hugged me at the office Christmas party and now they know my safe word.
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@lazerdoov: I like to picture my mom in the middle of the crowd at a Wu Tang concert, hands on her hips, just shouting grammar corrections back at them
@nealbrennan: I hope the bomber suspect is made of green screen so we can all project our most feared skin color onto him.
@BeerBatterBeard: The lack of paparazzi at this BBQ makes me think that my aunt can probably stop referring to her potato salad as "famous."