@BuckyIsotope: Did you know that if everyone in the U.S. donated just one pint of blood, we could pour it over the Statue of Liberty and be hella cool?

@AdamOfEarth: January 29, 1802, 2 AM: I hope this letter finds you well. Are you up? March 2: I am, good sir April 6: Would you kindly come over? May 9: K

@Ideal_Victoria: There is nothing more enjoyable than watching a child being chased by a seagull.

@simoncholland: When my wife asks me to do that one thing in the bedroom that she really likes, she's talking about vacuuming.

@bornmiserable: when I die, cross my arms in the casket so I'll look like I'm disappointed in everyone who comes to view my body at the funeral