@ericsshadow: THINGS CHICKS DIG: 1. Popcorn 2. Puppy dogs 3. I can't think of anything else, I'm very bad with women.

@JasonLastname: Sasquatch is just a regular quatch who tells it like it is.

@JWilsonGA: Wife: I'm making breakfast for dinner tonight. What do you want? Me: Bacon. Wife: And? Me: *blank stare* Wife: AND? Me: A napkin?

@sixfootcandy: Librarian: Shhh! Me: Shh! Librarian: Shh! Me: Shh! Librarian: *glares at me* Me: Look lady, I can do this all day.

@themorris23: Ive always hated math because, in my head, all the word problems sounded like this: The spaghetti envelopes are triangular. Find X.