@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Someone in the office keeps making decaf coffee & I've narrowed it down to that guy who never gets anything done.
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@SCbchbum: Don't bother giving kids a hard time for saying lol while they're speaking if you came from an era when hardy-har-har was a thing.
@MrsTomServo: Women want men they can fix; men want girls they can save; I want a sandwich that makes itself.
@HatfieldAnne: Dinner: I BIT THE INSIDE OF MY MOUTH! IT WILL NEVER HEAL! NOTHING WILL EVER BE RIGHT AGAIN! Next morning: Oh, OK.