@1par8head: Someone is selling a rot iron table on Craigslist ..wonder If they would trade for a dictionary
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@Parentpains: This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
@LeaMehanna: I think my microwave's broken. I keep pressing the pizza button and no pizza is coming out
@mrsmith196645: Guys, if your lady tells you she needs windshield wiper blades, SHE DOES NOT MEAN FOR CHRISTMAS!