@cassaleigh_: Someone just followed me and their bio said they were born in the year 2000 and I was like, “OKAY YEAH SURE, so you’re 3?” and then I realized that the year 2000 was 19 years ago and I am an old person.
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@david8hughes: As a fireman, I'm constantly asked questions like, "Can you please stop flexing & put out that fire?"
@LazerPunch: I read that 83% of prison inmates are Christians...should I be concerned with my safety when I'm up in Heaven?
@Fred_Delicious: If a Facebook video says "you won't believe what happens next" then I replace "believe" with "care"