@treadmilld: Someone just honked their horn to get me out of my parking space quicker so now we will both be here until we're dead.
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@david8hughes: [Jesus goes over the bill at the last supper] "Why would-[closes eyes & rubs bridge of nose]-Why would anyone order wine?"
@mustachewine: I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached.
@jctwritesstuff: *watching The Revenant* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* *rewind* *play* Him: What are you doing? Me: Taking notes for when I fight a bear.
@gingerfaced: My current diet all ends with an S. Pizzas. Hamburgers. Tacos. Nachos. Everything that's in sights.