@Ristolable: Someone just posted an article on Facebook and said "file this under sad." WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE FILING EVERYTHING
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@katiefzack: If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
@candygrlMT: Stop telling me your newborns weight and length. I don't know what to do with that information.
@scott_towel: When the grid crashes and there's no other way of communicating, we'll see whose drum circle is "stupid".
@envydatropic: *Switches between 4 different news channels for an hour* Has literally no idea what's going on in the world