@juneohara65: Someone just told me to dim the lights and called it a beauty tip.
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@Nicoleroxxu: One more glass of wine and my "only a lesbian from the waist up" rule is about to go out the window.
@chrisscamurra: CASHIER: its declined ME: run it again C: sir, is this one of those fake credit cards they mail out ME: no C: your name is "local resident"?
@Alex_N_Chains: I think it's obvious that Goo Goo Dolls and Lady Gaga should do a side project together and call it Goo Goo Gaga.