@imchriskelly: Someone just tweeted something vague that made me think a celeb had died so I googled "dead." No dice! Thank god---hang in there, celebs!
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@jessokfine: People always throwing cursed objects into the sea hello, no that is how you get haunted sharks
@cdncyn: I got thrown out of the zoo today.... apparently you're not allowed to feed the ducks..... to the alligators........
@jenlaw_11: And satan said "let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you" and it was so