SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE

@TheAlexP: [Riding carousel] Her: um, we should move on Me: *drunkenly trying to feed horse sugar packets* hold on, he just needs to get used to me.

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@crunchenhanced: I like my women how I like my microwaved food. Hot as hell on the outside and cold as ice on the inside.

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@lazerdoov: My girlfriend told me she's "spotting" and I'm like yeah right for who? You can't even bench 50 Lbs lol

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@DrDogMD: COW: I'm constipated DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol C: ur doing puns right now? DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao

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@RdrJay47: Drive Thru Clerk: Wow, you smell good. What are you wearing? Me: [hiding fries from the other drive thru] You wouldn't know, it's french.

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