@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: Someone needs to invent an alarm clock that, if you hit snooze more than three times, will call in sick for you.
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@joshgondelman: I refused to ask a guy with a Blackberry what time it was because he doesn't even know what year it is.
@BuckyIsotope: *puts leash around pet lobster* I think there will be games and lots of friends to play with Pinchy *walks into Lobsterfest* COVER YOUR EYES
@Death_Buddy: *walks outside* Its real quiet.. Almost too quiet. *looks around* *lights BBQ* *1000 Dads emerge from nowhere giving generic BBQ advice*
@robdelaney: Enrages me when I see guys using cute dogs to pick up chicks. It's like, why did I have kids.