@iJohnKnoxville: Someone needs to open a bar called "The Gym". Then I too can be annoying on Facebook by posting how I'm always at the gym.
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@yeetztweetz: look for the boy with the broken vape, ask him if he’ll be your escape, and he willllll be loooved
@DesecratedJewel: Co-worker: How are you today? Me: *starts writing death threats on the wall in period blood.*
@juliussharpe: For just $28,000, I will teach any politician or politician's wife to wave like a normal human being.