@iJohnKnoxville: Someone needs to open a bar called "The Gym". Then I too can be annoying on Facebook by posting how I'm always at the gym.
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@hdaniels_00: Tomorrow I'm going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence
@rickkondell: That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp, and kill your dog.
@comer310: Kid: Are you the babysitter? Sting: Yes. Every breath you take. Every step you take. I'll be watching you. It'll be fun! Kid: *horrified*
@legreece: My dog doesn't always bark like there's an intruder in the house, but when he does he waits until I'm home alone and in the shower.