@Sarcasmo718: Someone needs to tell drug sniffing dogs about the whole "man's best friend" thing.
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@TommyKarate: Local video store is offering a chance to win free iPads, so naturally, I reported them as spam.
@Sickayduh: Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok
@DaddyJew: Boss:my office, now! Me:*to myself* dont be about Twitter dont be about Twitter B:we've had a sexual harassment complaint M:Oh thank God!