@Glove_Monkey: Someone once told me "If you love something, set it free". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement.
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@iamspacegirl: In the middle of a GOP debate, Scooby and the gang suddenly rush the stage. They wrestle Trump to the ground, struggling to remove his face.
@michaelianblack: Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, "Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"
@web_supergirl: Cat got your tongue? Frog in your throat? Monkey on your back? Butterflies in your stomach? You may be dead in a field.
@marcmack: I live in fear that one day the real "World's Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.