@Glove_Monkey: Someone once told me "If you love something, set it free". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement.
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@BuckyIsotope: This little piggy went to the market This little piggy stayed home This little piggy spread a swine flu virus And killed 250 million people
@Amusitr0n: [shady nighttime meeting at the aquarium] AQUARIUM EMPLOYEE: eels are already pretty slippery man ME: shut up and help me butter them
@StellaRtwot: If an interviewer asks you: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" say "I don't know, did you see me pull up in a DaLorean?"