@NinjaFuneral: Someone outside the grocery store asked me if I had a few seconds to save the environment. I feel like it would take longer than that...
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@ButtercupHush: "No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
@angibangie: *Husband buys me flowers* Me: Aw sweet, but don't waste money on things that are going to die. Him: But you keep buying the cat food.
@SmurfetteDE: Hey people - learn to spell!!! I mean my co-workers. Twitter, you guys actually do pretty well, considering half of you are probably drunk.